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Casual Sex
Dear Lucia, I'm sleeping with this guy who I originally got involved with because I knew he was not the type to commit to one girl. I just wanted sex with no strings attached. Now we're hanging out, cuddling and spending the night together. He's the one initiating all of this and I'm starting to like him. I think he feels the same way, but it's so hard to read through the game and I know the game because I've done it too. Should I break it off before I end up having feelings for him and getting hurt? Or, should I keep doing what we're doing and see if his actions are really sincere? Lost Dear Lost, Women are supposed to bond with the men they have sex with. Nature made it this way in order to ensure the woman would stay with the man long enough to procreate. In this era of booty calls, friends with benefits and sex with no strings attached, women are learning the hard way that it's not always possible to keep casual sex, well, casual. Dr. Patricia Allen, in her book "Getting to I Do", says that casual sex in a normal woman triggers a bonding that verges on physical addiction. She continues, "This is due to a sexually stimulated hormone called oxytocin... which triggers orgasm. Soon the sound of his voice, the look on his face, the touch of his hands... become intensely associated with the addictive pleasure that oxytocin brings, and keeps "her" bonded to "him". In other words, oxytocin (not to be confused with the drug oxycotin) makes you feel good about the person who causes the hormone to be released. I guess this accounts for some women's bad choice of partners. You ask if you should break it off before you end up having feelings for him. I hate to tell you, but you already have feelings for him. There are two ways of dealing with this situation – directly or indirectly. If you choose the former, then you need to find out how he feels about you. I would ask him when you are "hanging out and cuddling". If he says he wants to keep things as they are, then you need to decide if you can live with that. Sure he may not be telling the truth or he may change his mind, but how much time, energy and emotion do you want to waste to find out? If you choose the latter, then he should not sleep over anymore. Sleeping over can ruin a perfectly good booty call. This privilege should only be reserved for boyfriends. Also, you need to start dating (though not necessarily sleeping with) other guys and make sure he knows it. If he does have feelings for you, he won't want you to date others and will step up to the plate. You can lie to him about what type of relationship you want, but please don't lie to yourself. Most guys will say they don't want to commit to one girl, until they find that one girl they do want to commit to. Once you're on the booty call list, it's not easy to get off (so to speak). Is it possible for some women to keep things casual when it comes to sex? Absolutely, but they are generally the exception that proves the rule. Make sure you know which category you're in before you decide to go against nature. Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love". With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice – after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it. For more articles or to ask Lucia a question, go to: http://www.theartoflove.net To speak to Lucia, go to: Ask Lucia
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Up Close And Personal (part Ii): It?s A Thin Line Between Intimacy And Sex
We previously delved into the murky waters of intimacy and sex?murky because too many people confuse sex with intimacy. Vanessa Caldwell-Jenkins, MS and founder of VISIONS defines sex as mere penetration. She says that ?intimacy is internally getting to know your mate, sharing heart to heart, feeling him.? We must understand that when we give our bodies to a man before we?ve become intimate with him, we are left feeling frustrated, confused and empty because the sexual act cannot replace the fulfillment that intimacy, closeness and friendship give. So when we desire to get to know a man better, sex is the wrong road to travel to get to his heart.
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Two Moms Launch New Facial Sunscreen Aimed at Teenage Skin
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Work At Home Moms Beware Of The Scams
The notion of being able to support yourself financially with a home business is far from new. Certainly the rising number of self employed people show that more and more individuals find avenues of making money while staying at home rather than working for someone else. This of course appeals tremendously to stay at home parents, especially moms and even working moms who would much rather spend the time at home with their children than spending a stressful day at the office.
Marital Aids for Couples to Improve Their Sex Lives
Can Couples reconnect with one another with a little imagination? Spice up a dull sex life after years of marriage and learn to make being together fun again.
Boston Dentist Dr. Helaine Smith Releases "Healthy Mouth, Healthy Sex!" E-book
"Healthy Mouth, Healthy Sex!" covers oral health and sexual issues from young adulthood through old age and includes the latest research concerning teens and the rise of STDs and throat cancer, the connection between smoking pot and gum disease, and how gum disease is thought to negatively affect pregnant women and their unborn fetuses.
Filling the Nest: With Kids About to Fly the Coop, Two Former Stay-at-Home Moms Birth a Handbag Business
Two stay-at-home moms whose nests—and days—are beginning to feel a little emptier just launched Keeta Collection, (www.keetacollection.com) an online shop that features diaper bags, totes, messenger bags and purses, as well as custom, one-of-a-kind designs.
Same-Sex Wedding Expos to be Held throughout California
The national gay & lesbian wedding resource,RainbowWeddingNetwork.com, has announced that the company will be producing three GLBTQ Wedding & Family Expos in California this summer, in celebration of the May 15th ruling by the state Supreme Court in favor of same-sex marriage. The Expos will also include the Same Love, Same Rights® Mobile Marriage Summit, an interactive forum to motivate and educate attendees about the potential threats to the new legislation, as well as innovative ways to enact real change all across America concerning marriage equality. The Expos will be held in July in Orange County, Los Angeles and San Francisco. Each event is free for the public to attend.
Busy Mom's Fitness Expert To Hold First Ever Transformation Challenge Exclusively For Moms
On March 1, 2008 Holly Rigsby, author of the internet's best selling busy women's fitness e-book Fit Yummy Mummy, will host The First Annual 'Fit Yummy Mummy Transformation Challenge' -- a 12-week complete fitness challenge inspiring busy moms to lose the stubborn fat and get their bodies back!
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